Spanking Children
There are some Christians who have a really hard time with the biblical doctrines on discipline of children. I believe that the primary reason they have these issues is that they do not understand the love of the Father behind some key verses relating to discipline of children.
Paul says that anyone who is not chastised of the Father, is a bastard (Hebrews 12:7-9). This is because any loving father WILL chastise their children. They do this because they love them, and want to keep them from harm.
In Proverbs 13v24-25, we read how anyone that spares the rod, hates their child. Some people are so abhored by the very idea of spanking their children, that they get very angry when someone else mentions it. This is because they do not love their children, and do not even realize it.
Now I would like to give an example of how the love of our Heavenly Father is behind these scriptures. My brother and I were discussing discipline of children today, and the things he has learned, and the things I have learned. Below is a sort of transcript of what happened.
We started out by me talking about how my little girl, who is just over 12 months old, is sometimes defiant of my authority. In one instance, she was touching the VCR. I decided that I did not want her to touch the VCR, because I don't want her to break it in the future. At this stage in her life, she understands not to touch something, when dad says "NO, DON'T TOUCH". Sometimes she will just sit there and cry because I told her not to touch. Other times, she'll watch me until I look away, and then touch it again. As it was, she kept on touching the VCR. At first, I do not spank her, or give her a smack of any kind, because she is simply making a mistake. Children of this age do not have that great of an attention span, so they are unable to focus on something you mentioned 5-10 minutes ago. But, when she continues to defy her father, she needs a smack.
After having described the situation to my brother Troy, he asked some questions that he already knew the answers to. This helped us develop a firm understanding, and the ability to articulate why we believe what we do, about disciplining children. This is not a word for word transcript of the discussion, but is the basics of what we discussed, with some extra put in for clarity.
Troy: "Why do you smack her?"
Trent: "Because I want her to learn to obey her father."
Troy: "Why though? Touching a VCR isn't that big of a deal."
Trent: "Because, if a situation arises later on, in which my child is in danger, she will listen to her father. If I had not helped to develop a history of obedience in her, then later on in life, she may not value my input. I want her to obey, because it will help her later in life."
As an example, she may be running out to a road, where an on coming semi-truck is about to hit her. I am way too far away to possibly save her. So, before she gets to the road, I call out to her, and tell her COME BACK HERE. Immediately she responds, with turning to her father in obedience, there by saving her from certain death. If I do not develop this history of obedience in my daughter, then it is because I do not love her.
Now, under most circumstances, I would say it would be good to have a guideline that says that you do not have to spank your child for doing something bad. Children can make mistakes in judgment, and not understand that they shouldn't do certain things. If however, your child continues to defy you, and refuses to be obedient, then you MUST, out of fatherly love, discipline that child. As Proverbs 23v13-14 says, doing so shall deliver your child from hell.
Also, I think it's obvious, to any person, that beating a child mercilessly is unacceptable. The bible does use the word beat in Proverbs 23v13-14, but you must properly interpret scriptures according to the whole of scripture. In doing so, you will see that the focus of beating, spanking, or whatever you want to call it, is always love. Therefore, spanking your child in anger, is also unacceptable.
I watched a good video on this topic, which is actually pretty much common sense.
